fears in my life, # 1

So I'm headed for bed, doing the last couple things in the kitchen, just about ready to call it a day, when I hear faint scratching/hissing/squeaking sounds coming from a box. This box is sitting on a side table, full of food items just purchased in below Thailand trip, set aside for coming Thanksgiving holiday.

At first, I think it's a giant cockroach. We don't get many of those in this house, but they still show up with regularity. Besides, I thought I saw something dark dive down into the box. Wow, that scratching is loud... is it a mouse? Of course, I go get Nathan to come investigate. I just can't lose Thanksgiving goodness.

Nathan digs around in the box and pulls out this little creature. Do you know what it is? It's a Rhinoceros Beetle.This is what the nwf's website says about this little guy, 

"Rhinoceros beetles can grow up to 6 inches, making them some of the largest beetles around" and also, to verify the sounds I was hearing, "When disturbed, rhinoceros beetles can make hissing squeaks."

I can verify that statement. In my mind, though, Hissing = cockroach. Squeaking = mouse. I thought it was going to be either/or.

"Oh this?" says Nathan.

"I found this outside this morning and brought it in for the kids. Zach had it climbing all over his shirt." 

"So you brought it into the house?" I ask. I'm panicking now because I'm starting to feel quite vulnerable. Nathan is now holding the rhino beetle in his hand. He's walking towards me. He put it on Zach's shirt this morning to climb all over him. He's... walking... towards... me...

I run for the bedroom and lock the door. The beetle is hissing all over the place.

 Nathan reassures me through the door, "I'm not going to throw the beetle on you. I just want you to come see it." So I gingerly open the door and come out. It's stuck on Nathan's clothes, clinging on for dear life.  Nathan's working on pulling him off. 

"I guess I forgot to take him back outside before I left for work," I hear him say. 

Nathan's teasing in this picture. I don't think he'd actually eat it. That said, when I asked him about lunch the other day, he did say that he shared somebody's lunch at work and ate a bunch of bugs with him. I then asked if he could take the beetle back outside, and he did. And my heart rate started to go down.

So I found a good, clear picture online. It's actually glass, taken from glassartists.org. It's a good thing the kids were asleep. When they're up and watching, I have to be strong. Act like I'm not terrified, like these things don't bother me. My strategy when I find these things and there's no one around? I find a bucket, a good sized one, and quickly drop it on top of the creature. Then I heavy weight the bucket so nothing can crawl out. And that's how Nathan will find the situation when he gets home. So now you know, a major fear in my life. Beetles. Don't ever tell my boys, please. That is, Elijah and Zach. Nathan already knows.